Letting Go

Today is one of the last conversations I may have with L, my therapist.

Her hobbies take her to the improv world and so we know some of the same people.

She seems to know me well. But we’ve never met in person.

When I was up in the Bay last spring, I snuck over to her office to see where she worked. But to my knowledge, she’s never talked to me from that tiny room, since we met in the time of zoom.

I think that zoom has surprisingly made the relationship healthier, the therapy more impactful.

Somehow it’s been deeply meaningful without feeling dependent on her presence.

She came after E, my first therapist.

I actually made sure they talked partly because I was so attached.

L helped me get through that relationship with E. She helped me understand it. She helped me see the pattern.

L’s way of EMDR, the distance of zoom, but the intimacy of our conversations were all healthier than the ones I developed with E.

Now, it’s time to move on here, too.

We’ll reconnect in two months to see how it goes.

After nearly 5 years of therapy, it’s time to fly on my own.