I wish I could still love like I used to.

I wish I still had the hunger that kept me up all night walking city streets and wondering where you were and what you were doing.

I wish I still felt the quickening at the heat of your elbow resting on my armrest at the movie.

I wish I still wondered what the answer would be to the question my lips asked and worried about how far to push it.

I wish I was still uncertain about what your eyes were saying to me across a slice of cherry pie at the dinner.

I wish I could still surprise you with an afternoon of hooky in the snow of caked out Central Park.

I wish I still caught your look over your shoulder that drove me crazy and made me like the luckiest man in the world.

I wish you still let me take pictures of your smile in the big and lovely lens of the Diana F+ you gave me for fun one Christmas.

I wish you still saw me as the kind and thoughtful man you could trust with your beautiful heart.

I wish I still….

I wish…