An observational note to myself 10 years ago found in the Facebook memories feed:

The greatest thing about H and the boys being at grandma's house is experiencing the vacuum of life I now live in without them. My workaholic comes out with fangs and terrorizes the emptiness with activity.

And the person who is me sees my insanity and cannot wait for the family to return and cage the shallow animal that relentlessly fills the void with scripts and scrawl in a crazy effort to fool the mind into thinking: I have purpose anyway.