When this is all over, I’m gonna start a theatre company called the Theatre of Rejection and it’s going to put on nothing but ignored, forgotten, aged work that no one ever saw. It’ll be run by the blind and maimed lurching around in the shadows of the minuscule flyspaces where the rats gnaw at costumes in the dark. We’ll paper the walls of the lobby with all the “Thank you but no thank you” letters. Every show will be billed as the “worst theatre ever produced.” And every show will feature a character named Cassandra played by a fierce pale skinned redhead I am in love with and who breathes fire at random moments so you leave with singed eyebrows. Our curtain call will be a big fat finger to everyone who ever said NO!

When this is all over, I’m gonna stop working for everyone else and put the 401K down and take a long nap. And when I get up, I’m gonna get a pair of OP shorts and a black sweatshirt and learn to sail with my teenage boys in a warm water bay where sting rays glide like angel-winged wafers over the white sand. Then we’ll sail around the world and the boys will learn to be fearless and discover that the true meaning of faith is to let go of everything absolutely and the only way out the airplane built by others is without a parachute. And when we get back we’re gonna spend our Saturday mornings at the food bank passing out watermelons and potatoes to the truly needy.

When this is all over, I’m gonna teach our old dog to stand on her hind legs and dance the pogo while playing the only three chords you need to make a Ramones song destroy an eardrum.

When this is all over, I’m gonna kiss you furiously in the kitchen and the living room and play room and patio and bedroom and anywhere else I need to so that you never doubt how much you are loved by me.

When this is all over, I’m gonna read a Sunday paper that you hold in your hands while drinking freshly-made coffee as you sleep late in bed.

When this is all over, I’m gonna look at my resentments every day and demolish them with clarity and openness and clear amends where necessary and I’m going to jump into H&I with both feet and be of service to people who need it. I’m gonna reach my hands out and hold the world for anyone who needs it.

When this is all over, I’m gonna stop worrying about being liked and trust in love and hold the whole world in pre-emptive positive regard.

When this is all over….

All over….

When this is all over, I’m gonna do stuff I’ve never ever done before.

Yep, when this is all over I’m gonna stop waiting for this to be all over and I’m gonna do some stuff. Big stuff. And I’m gonna do it like it’s never going to be over, because it never will be.