Throwing Me Back

I woke up this morning with the Santa Barbara sun in my eyes; the voices of this place’s night birds still strong in my ear.

And the creeping feeling that I do not belong.

Is it just fear? Or is my body telling me what I need to know — that the ocean is throwing me back and saying this is not the day?

So hard to know. Impossible.

Fear, I know not what to do with you.