I hate hipsters.

I hate the sanskrit tattoos. I hate the talk about meditation. I hate the lambchops and pork pie hats. I hate the toothpicks and stand-offish stances.

I hate the attitude that says I know what you don’t.

I hate your Kambucha breaks and AA wisdom with all of 6 months under your belt.

I hate your love of vynl even though you’ve never been in a real record store.

I hate your tech jobs and RSUs and long stares.

I hate your latte machines and snack demands.

I hate the way you ask to be promoted before you’ve even done a thing.

I hate your lazy way into town on motorized skoots that weave in and out of the crowd.

I hate your lectures on awareness and your radical acceptance and silent retreats to redwood resorts.

I hate your vegetarianism and your philanthropic mission statements that are just a way to brainwash you to stay at the office late.

I hate your mindful bullshit.

I fucking hate you, hipster.

Just so you know.