When we wake up the boy is there, all six years of him, blinking up at the ceiling. It's like a sensor goes off and he springs into action tickling his mother and nestling his head into her like a gentle bull. "Tickle fight!" She laughs and makes him writhe in laughter. I catch the flashes of her white teeth and red hair and I feel good as the boy shimmers with joy. This one little moment could hold me together forever.